Why I am so self-absorbed

My new favorite blog, Half Changed World, points out a recent New York Times article on blogging parents. I didn't realize that boring you all with my self-involved drivel was so...trendy. But, really, the value to me in reading the parent blogs of friends and strangers is to find that sense of community (you know, the whole "it takes a village" thing) that is difficult to come upon these days. There has been a ton written about how today it is becoming much less common for people to remain in their hometown or village from womb to tomb, and thus don't have the accumulated family knowledge to help them through difficult transitions (marriage, parenthood, etc.). Parent blogs allow us to form a community of peers - to share experiences, give and receive advice - that is difficult to do in our neighborhoods, with transient neighbors and busy lives. The blogging universe allows a place for parents to vent about the difficulties of being in charge of a living, unpredictable human being, but also to learn that you are not the first person experiencing the new and scary thoughts and feelings. And, sometimes, parents really need to laugh.

Not that it will amount to anything

Just had to share with you the comment I sent to Education Secretary Margaret Stallings regarding the "Postcards from Buster" issue. I wonder what kind of response I will receive:

I have been following, with great concern, the recent flap over the Vermont episode of PBS's Postcards from Buster that the Secretary decided to weigh in on. As the parent of a 2-1/2-year-old girl who occasionally watches the show, I am not worried about the questions she will ask if she were to see a "two mom" family, but rather what I see as a growing trend of institutionalized discrimination against a certain subgroup of Americans who some "values oriented" segments of society deem shameful, or as second-class citizens.

Most preschoolers that I know wouldn't even think to ask why a child has two moms or two dads, any more than they would ask why there is only one parent (how to explain divorce?), or why the child is being raised by their grandparents (how to explain death?), or by foster parents (how to explain child protective services?). In most cases, a simple answer of "there are many kinds of families in this world, and in some there are two mommies, just like you have a mommy and a daddy." No need for discussion of sexual orientation, no need to get in to the details. Chances are, when they ask, they're not so interested in the reproductive aspect of the family, but rather in the emotional aspect.

I welcome the opportunity to have my child learn about the rich fabric of diverse families that make up our nation. I think it is the least we can do to raise children that not only tolerate, but embrace the most important part of being an American -- the freedom to be yourself.

Blog for thought

I've added a new blog to my reading list (it's getting far too long...). Half Changed World has a lot of good things to say about motherhood, policy, and life. She's doing an interesting experiment right now to see if she can feed her family of four on the goverment's "Thrifty Food Plan" amount of $434.00 a month. Our monthly grocery total for a family of three? Much, much higher than that.

Just in case you had some spare time

Now that I have found this, I officially can no longer get anything accomplished at work.

I think it's like asking for directions

Why don't men like to go to the doctor?

Mr. MOM, who is usually a fairly rational person, is laid up in bed with back pain so bad he can't even sit up. But he refuses to call the doctor. And it's not getting better; it's getting worse. "Call the doctor," I said several times before leaving for work. "Mmmnnnghhhh," he replied. An hour after I got to work, I called him. "Did you call the doctor?" I asked. "No," he replied.

"Well, do it."

"What can he do?"

"I don't know. Give you pain medication, a muscle relaxer, tell you to lie on a heating pad, give you some exercises to help out. Something, instead of you just lying there in pain."

"Mmmmnnnggghhhh."

I swear, he wouldn't go to the doctor if his arm fell off. He would just pick it up and ask me if I could try sewing it back on. This is the same man who had chest pain for two days, and when it finally became bad and his jaw was hurting, he decided to look it up on the Internet. Which told him he was having a heart attack. So then and only then did he go to a medical professional.

I'll admit, I want him to go to the doctor and get better quickly for my own selfish reasons. I'm now doing his chores and my chores, and taking care of DOM, and taking care of him. But, most important, WE HAVE A BABYSITTER TONIGHT! If he doesn't get better, then there goes my dream of a leisurely meal and a real movie in a real movie theater. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, I really, really look forward to it.

So maybe I'll call his doctor myself. It always seems to work with directions.

Just when I thought I couldn't get any angrier

This makes me so freaking mad, I am ready to go ballistic. The so-called Department of Education deciding what is and isn't appropriate for *my* child to learn? THIS is yet another reason why I voted for (and gave money to) Kerry. Grrr.

PBS's 'Buster' Gets An Education (washingtonpost.com)

Children have gay parents. Children all around this country have gay parents. Having gay parents doesn't make them sexually confused. Exposing other children to families that have two mommies or two daddies (especially preschoolers, who by and large are children who have not yet learned about the birds and the bees) will not increase their confusion over gender roles or identities. The only thing it may do is show them that some families may be different than others, but as long as children are loved and nurtured and treated well, it doesn't make one whit of difference how many moms or dads are or aren't involved. Differences exist in this country, and by hiding them you are not only sending a message to your own child about worth in this society, you are also perpetuating an atmosphere of intolerance that is destroying the fabric of our nation. Perhaps I shouldn't let DOM visit any more "red states" - I'm afraid she'll pick up their narrowmindedness and intolerance.

(Please excuse this week's ranting and raving. I promise to be back to being nice, happy MOM once I get my Valium prescription refilled.)

This will come in handy at prom time

During her bath tonight, DOM and I were playing "where's Blue" (as in Blue's Clues)? She looked down and said (quite clearly), "Blue is in my vagina!"

Don’t they have something better to do?

The latest flap brought to you by the brilliant minds over at Focus on the Family is their criticism of Sponge Bob Square Pants for...ahem…promoting a gay agenda. SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and other TV cartoon characters appear in a video singing "We Are Family," in a post-September 11 appeal to encourage tolerance. Apparently, the conservative Christian group takes exception to being asked to respect sexual identity. Because discrimination cloaked in the guise of religious beliefs isn't really discrimination, right?

Sponge Bob was singled out for particular disapproval because, in 2002, the media reported that the little yellow guy was popular among gays. But just because people – or cartoon characters – are popular among gays doesn't mean that they are gay themselves. I mean, Sponge Bob wears tighty whities...what self-respecting gay man would wear tighty whities? Nickelodeon’s comment: "It's a sponge, for crying out loud. He has no sexuality." And even if he were gay, it's not like he's french kissing Patrick on the show.

Now, DCist reports that PBS Kids' new Postcards from Buster show has come under fire for featuring a lesbian couple. Fox, in a recent rerun of the Family Guy (definitely not a children's show) pixilated an animated baby's bare bottom. At least the FCC (showing some balls for once) is not descending into this madness. In a recent ruling, the commission rejected a complaint against the Simpsons (also, admittedly not a children's show) for a show that included a scene in which students carried picket signs with the phrases "What would Jesus glue?" and "Don't cut off my pianissimo." (Fer cryin' out loud - they were protesting cuts in arts funding for the school, people!)

When Jerry Falwell decried Tinky Winky's gayness (OK, I'll give him that – Tinky Winky is referred to as a "he" but his favorite toy is a purse, and he sometimes wears a tutu – not that there's anything wrong with it), it was amusing. Now, it's part of a larger and more disturbing trend of discrimination and open hostility toward gay Americans. And anyway you look at it, there is something wrong with that.

A few words about the television conundrum

I (heart) TiVo. I (heart) our HDTV. I plan my week around The Amazing Race (and faithfully read all the recaps at Television Without Pity - Miss Alli is da bomb). I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly. I grew up on Captain Kangaroo, Looney Toons, Electric Company, and weekday afternoon reruns of the Brady Bunch and the Love Boat. So, is it so bad that I let my two-year-old child watch and hour or so of TV each day?

In my prime, or past it?

I'll admit it - in recent days/weeks I had been feeling pretty smug about my position in life. I felt as though I finally got my bearings on toddler-raising, and was beginning to anticipate and defuse meltdowns about to surface. Work was under control, I was exercising regularly, and I even was becoming a frequent contributor to a group blog. Then it happened...the thing that crushed my self-confidence and ego under its giant foot, sending me spiraling down into a morass of self-pity. I learned that I, in my 34-1/2 years on this earth, am old.

Granted, the pronouncement wasn't directly aimed at me, but rather couched in the terms of some of the hot clubs attracting an "older crowd" - in their definition, those "pushing 30." Not only am I no longer pushing 30, 30 has turned around and is kicking my ass up the ladder towards 40. The funny thing is, though, that now I am no longer relevant to hip twentysomethings, I am newly relevant to coworkers and business world VIPs.

Two weeks ago, my office had a breakfast to meet the new chairman of our board. She was even so nice as to pretend to remember me from a previous job I had held three years ago. Afterwards, according to a report from an office VP, she commented that not only was she impressed that I had such a great job for someone so young (she called me "smart"), she also thought I was pretty (she called me "pretty"). It's good to have the chairman like you.

So, the opinion of a vapid twentysomething wannabe socialite, I may be old...but I like to think I'm just better.

Virginia residents: Ask this guy what he is thinking!

One finds interesting - and frightening - things out in the blogosphere. For example, some nutjob legislator from Virginia thinks it's a good idea to heap additional emotional trauma on women undergoing a miscarriage. I beg of you, dear readers...if you live in Virginia, please seriously consider doing something to block this horrific piece of legislation!

It never ends

Just when I was settling down and thinking that I was doing a pretty good job at this motherhood thing, I read this. A set of blocks like the ones that Frank Lloyd Wright used to play with...all for only $150! Why, it would be just criminal not to let DOM have the opportunity to become one of the most innovative and celebrated architects of her time! I think we should cut back on our necessities to make sure that no effort is spared in developing her nascent talents.

Boy, I can't wait until I can find these on eBay...

You know you're a mom when...(part 2)

...it is perfectly normal to clean up a bathtub full of poop.