The little-ist consumers

Great stuff about children as consumers in this weekend's New York Times Magazine (site registration required) and in today's Washington Post. I read both with equal parts fascination and horror. Fascinated because I think it's good that kids are learning about aesthetics and quality. Horrified because to me it seems that it's just another factor pushing kids away from being kids at an earlier and earlier age. Is there a middle ground? Are they becoming mini adults when they should be maxi kids?

What I meant to say

Ellen Goodman articulates it best. Hence, why she has won a Pulitzer and I, alas, have not.

For anyone who grew up in the 80s

This is guaranteed to drive you crazy...or have you humming bad songs to yourself for the rest of the day...

Mirror, mirror

The other night, DOM was playing with a large stuffed bear down in our rec room. She carried it into the bathroom, put it on the floor and said, "Now, you sit there and think about what you did!" A little stunned, I asked her, "Did you just put your bear in time out?" She answered, proudly, "Yes!"

Putting aside the question of whether we've been using the time out too often, Mr. MOM and I did the only thing we could in such a situation - dissolved in laughter.

Are we doing worse or is the bar just getting higher?

Today, as I was reading a Salon.com article on the new Conceive magazine, I was intrigued by The Mommy Myth author Susan Douglas' contention that this was further evidence of the "fetishizing" of babies.

Reading through a Salon interview with Douglas, I'm struck by how rational she sounds...and how much I agree with her. It seems to me, in my observations over the past two years, that there is this unrelenting push by today's mothers (and it is largely not shared by fathers) to try to be perfect. Now, I think the drive to be a perfect mother has always been there, but the media image of the perfect mother has changed over the years from June Cleaver (doing housework in high heels and having dinner ready for the family when Ward comes home) to some ungodly Martha Stewart/Stepford wife combination (everything is always perfect, everything is always homemade, and your taste is impeccable).

I happen to participate on several parenting-related listservs, and it always seems that members who dare voice an opinion that does not fit with today's standard of an ideal mommy, she gets taken to task by the other mothers, either directly or through emails that condemn the practice. God forbid we should feed our children refined sugar, let them watch TV before the age of 2, turn their car seats forward-facing a day before they turn 1 (or, as someone recently suggested, 2), give them formula instead of breastfeeding, stop breastfeeding before they enter Kindergarten, put them in a day care center, leave them with a babysitter, take a trip and leave them with relatives, or let them play with sharp objects. (OK, maybe that last one is universal.)

The thing that always conveniently gets left out is that 99% of the mothers who participate on such listservs are doing the best they can with their financial resources, physical limitations, time constraints, and mental health. Many of us have come to the conclusion that nobody will ever be a perfect mother, so can't we just accept the trade-offs other mothers make and not make them feel bad about it. I mean, can't we all just get along?

Or does this just sound like I'm trying to justify my poor parenting techniques?

On the other hand...

...on days like this, I CAN raid said child's Halloween candy stash.

Mmmmm...Whoppers....

Under pressure

On a recent visit to the doctor, I was told that my blood pressure was a little high and that I should keep an eye on it. A week later, it was through the roof. I'm still undergoing tests to see what might be causing the increase (who wants to bet that there won't be an answer?), but I figure it's probably one of three things:

a) a serious problem where I only have two weeks to live;
b) a moderate problem, but one that can be controlled by medication, dietary changes, and lifestyle changes; or
c) not really a problem - I'm just a working mother of a two-year-old and if my blood pressure wasn't elevated, I probably would be checked for signs of rigor mortis.

This comes on one of THOSE nights...a night in which I pat myself on the back for the decision to stop at one child. A night where a glass of bourbon on the rocks isn't just pleasurable - it's necessary. A night where I am at the end of my rope and fed up with piles of laundry, toys scattered all around the house, and a child that now, 40 minutes after I put her down for bed, is still singing at the top of her lungs.

To my infant-rearing friends reading this right now...good luck. Your turn is next. MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Isn't she beautiful?

Welcome to the world, Baby Pink! Perhaps we'll be able to clean up this mess by the time you start paying attention to such things.

In all seriousness, several good friends have had babies recently and I have to say how wonderful it is to see them so happy, so nurturing, and to see them be such wonderful mothers. I don't mean to get all sappy, but it gives me hope for the next generation. We may not be perfect mothers (as if such a creature ever really exists), but I think our children will always know that they have a place where they are safe and loved.

A friendly word of advice

Today at lunch, I saw yet another person walking down the street in a miniskirt and Ugg boots in 70 degree weather. I wanted so desperately to stop this woman and say, "For the love of all that is holy, stop this madness now!" I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s and have my fair share of cringe-inducing outfits documented on film, and I just want to spare these innocent fashion victims the heartache and embarrassment that will be visited upon them looking back at their ridiculous get up ten years from now.

I went to college at a beautiful coastal campus in California. One woman I knew, who was a Grateful Dead fan and who lost a toe in a biking accident, wore Uggs all the time. Yes, they're comfortable and cozy. But unless you live in Manitoba or International Falls, Minnesota, for the life of me, I cannot see how they can be considered practical or attractive. Sure, they claim that the insole acts almost like an "air conditioner" in up to 80 degree weather. But I just ain't buying it. And I'm not alone.

Ugg-philes, come talk to me again in ten years. You'll see what I mean.