Are we doing worse or is the bar just getting higher?

Today, as I was reading a Salon.com article on the new Conceive magazine, I was intrigued by The Mommy Myth author Susan Douglas' contention that this was further evidence of the "fetishizing" of babies.

Reading through a Salon interview with Douglas, I'm struck by how rational she sounds...and how much I agree with her. It seems to me, in my observations over the past two years, that there is this unrelenting push by today's mothers (and it is largely not shared by fathers) to try to be perfect. Now, I think the drive to be a perfect mother has always been there, but the media image of the perfect mother has changed over the years from June Cleaver (doing housework in high heels and having dinner ready for the family when Ward comes home) to some ungodly Martha Stewart/Stepford wife combination (everything is always perfect, everything is always homemade, and your taste is impeccable).

I happen to participate on several parenting-related listservs, and it always seems that members who dare voice an opinion that does not fit with today's standard of an ideal mommy, she gets taken to task by the other mothers, either directly or through emails that condemn the practice. God forbid we should feed our children refined sugar, let them watch TV before the age of 2, turn their car seats forward-facing a day before they turn 1 (or, as someone recently suggested, 2), give them formula instead of breastfeeding, stop breastfeeding before they enter Kindergarten, put them in a day care center, leave them with a babysitter, take a trip and leave them with relatives, or let them play with sharp objects. (OK, maybe that last one is universal.)

The thing that always conveniently gets left out is that 99% of the mothers who participate on such listservs are doing the best they can with their financial resources, physical limitations, time constraints, and mental health. Many of us have come to the conclusion that nobody will ever be a perfect mother, so can't we just accept the trade-offs other mothers make and not make them feel bad about it. I mean, can't we all just get along?

Or does this just sound like I'm trying to justify my poor parenting techniques?