Of shoes, ships, sealing wax, cabbages, and strings

Watching the repeat of Monday's Colbert Report last night, I was intrigued by the interview with Brian Greene, author of a book about String Theory and a guy who is approximately 248 times smarter than I. I had heard the term string theory bandied about, but never really understood what it was about. After last night's viewing...I'm still not so sure what it's about, but it is a very cool concept. Even after reading so-called "basic" explanations about the theory, I'm still in the dark. But, if I am interpreting correctly, most string theories are based on a belief there are 10 dimensions. Last night, Greene said that there could be 10 different versions of ourselves in 10 different versions of the world. If that is the case, I'm guessing at least three of me are currently sucking down a martini at any particular point in time.

(As an aside, I'm beginning to love the Colbert Report - still not quite as much as the Daily Show in that I devote valuable and dwindling TiVo space to it, but enough so that if it is on and I have the time, I watch it. This episode managed to expertly skewer the Administration's so-called rationale for staying in Iraq AND the inherent ridiculousness of teaching intelligent design in science class. As an aside to this aside, I am incredulous about this Administration's craptacular "Strategy for Victory in Iraq": Long-term victory will occur when the country is "peaceful, united, stable, and secure, well integrated into the international community, and a full partner in the global war on terrorism" and the U.S. would not withdraw from Iraq until victory had been achieved, which by this yardstick and at the current pace of improvement should occur...oh, roughly around the year 2041.)

Ahem...sorry about that...where was I?

Oh yes, string theory. It's cool.

On a totally unrelated note (or perhaps one that is related in a different dimension), one mom posted a very interesting question today to a working mom's listserv to which I subscribe. She asked how women dealt with shifting priorities that occurs when your child is born. Many moms who keep working by choice (and even some who keep working by necessity) I think are ones who largely defined themselves by career success before children. I know that it is a question I've had to deal with myself, and it is something that I'm thinking about a lot nowadays. I think it's not just a change in priorities, but really a change in weltanschauung (my favorite word auf Deutsch). I've always had a drive to do something distinctive with my life - to achieve a level of greatness. That is, perhaps, why I never really understood why my husband was so happy doing a job that was "just a job." (On the flip side, he doesn't really understand my drive to devote so much time and energy to work.) When my daughter was born, my focus shifted away from the career and my achievements and toward the family. I've been working fewer hours, focusing less on work, and spending more time with family. However, I've been increasingly anxious and unsettled recently, and I couldn't figure out why. But last night it hit me - I felt like I should be doing something bigger. What that something is, I don't know. Writing a book, starting an insanely successful business, laying the groundwork for future glory. During my daughter's first year, I didn't really have that issue, because I was training for my first marathon. The question is: now what?

It's funny what happens when an epiphany hits. A lot of things become clear, but many others make you want to slap yourself in the forehead and say, "DUH!" Visiting some relatives a couple of weeks ago, I was talking about some stress my father was going through, and how he had this all-consuming drive to get one of his books published and see moderate success in his lifetime. Now, he was (still is) a brilliant architect, with some incredible testaments to his talent scattered across the globe. But I think that publishing a successful book is now his benchmark and how he believes he will achieve his legacy, and it is very difficult and draining for him to keep falling short of that goal. I understand where he is coming from, because I realize that I am like him in more ways than I care to admit. It just took me a few more weeks and some quality couch time to realize it.